


A Reunion Long Since Needed

by obeytherandomness



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Fix-it fic, Future Fic, M/M, Reincarnation, angst with happy ending, drama with happy endings, proof that "happily ever after" isn't always trouble free
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 19:23:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16816888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obeytherandomness/pseuds/obeytherandomness
Summary: Fili was reincarnated in a world without his brother and it plagues him. Every night. Until one day someone appears before him that he'd lost hope ever seeing again.





	A Reunion Long Since Needed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eternal Scribe (Shadowcat)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowcat/gifts).



“Do you hear me Moria Scum!” Fili screamed, tugging his brother’s sword from where it fell. His eyes were bright and icy with unshed tears. They would fall eventually, but not now in the midst of battle. “You will answer for this!”

His brother, his beloved Kili, had fallen and Fili didn’t even have the time to say goodbye. He’d only gotten to his brother just as the last of his breath left him through a sad smile.

Fili screamed, jumping into the fray with all he had left in him. His brother was dead. There was nothing left for him to live for now. All that he loved was lost.

“Fili!”

* * *

Fili jerked up in his bed, holding his pocket knife open in front of him and gasping for air. His heart raced, and every shadow looked to him like another orc. The constant thumping of the train passing by his meager studio apartment cast the sounds of war into his room.

He jumped from his bed, tripping and crying out when the sheets tried to catch his feet. Struggling to free himself, Fili turned, stabbed his knife into the mattress, and crawled to his desk where he kept a stash of knives of all different shapes and sizes. He pulled the largest one out and threw himself against a corner of his room.

The train passed and with it the war cries faded into the distance. Dancing shadows stilled and Fili was suddenly alone in his room.

“Kili?” he whispered, looking around for his brother. “Kili?” he called a little louder, his voice shaking in the silence.

There was no answer and would be no answer, Fili remembered slowly as he pulled his knees up to rest his head on. Fili had been reborn to a woman other than Dis and no brother had been born after him. He was all alone in this world. “Kili,” he sobbed.

Fili’s nightmares of war and suffering were a constant worry to his mother. She had taken him to many doctors of all shapes and professions to find out what was wrong with her son and it took them far too long to diagnose him. The final conclusion had come when he was in his late teens when the dreams had gotten so bad that he could no longer sleep. PTSD they had said, but none of them could figure out how he had gotten it. Fili had, after all, lived a relatively good life with his parents. They weren’t the wealthiest of people, but there was also no reason for him to have any form of trauma. Yet, ever since the moment he was born, the nightmares got worse and the bags under his eyes.

The doctors prescribed him pills to ease his misery and Fili glanced at them hours after he had been woken from yet another horrible nightmare, but he didn’t like them. They made him tired and less alert. His instincts always screamed at him when he took them that someone could sneak up on him and stab him in the back at any moment. Because of this, he would only take them when he was at the end of his rope.

Suddenly, Fili’s cellphone screamed in his pocket. He hadn’t even realized he still had it on him. Or that he had accidentally fallen asleep fully dressed. Again. He was so startled by it, in fact, that he grabbed up the knife instead of the phone until the screaming finally came to a halt. Only then did he reach cautiously for it in his pocket.

The phone rang again in his hand. In the darkness of early morning light, the phone lit up displaying Bilbo Baggins’s name bright and clear. Fili smiled a slow and tired thing. Bilbo was the only connection he had to his previous life. When he had first found the reincarnated hobbit, he had had hope of finding the others, but it had been years since then and still there had been no sign of any of them. No sign of Kili. It had broken Fili just that little bit more, but Bilbo’s presence had at least confirmed that Fili’s nightmares weren’t just that.

Unfortunately, Bilbo did not remember the past as he did. The hobbit was skittish and often jumped at the smallest of sounds as through something were ready to attack him, but he did not speak of his life in the past or what could cause such skittishness. It could even be the way he was as Fili remembered a hobbit very much the same at the beginning of their journey.

“Hello?” he answered, pulling the phone closer to him. Bilbo could not have picked a better time to call. Fili really needed to hear someone from his old life right now.

“Oh Fili!” Bilbo said frantically. Fili could just imagine the hobbit pacing around the kitchen of his café, ringing his hands and biting his lip as he always did when he was worried. “Thank goodness you answered! My morning worker for today called out sick and that’s my busiest time! I can’t do it all by myself! I need someone to fill in, but no one else is available! Could you come? I’ll just need someone to man the front. It won’t be too much trouble. I just can’t do it because I’ll be in the back baking. And I’ll even pay you overtime! Oh please say that you will, Fili!”

Fili looked at the clock on his desk. It flashed 6:14 AM. Bilbo’s café opened at 7 and it was at least an hour away from Fili’s room if he took the buses. He might be able to cut that down slightly if he caught a taxi to take him, but he still would run into morning traffic. “I might be a bit late,” he said.

“Whenever you can get here!” Bilbo said. “Oh thank you Fili! I’ll have something for you to eat whenever you arrive. Thank you so much! Thank you.”

“Welcome,” Fili grumbled, interrupting the hobbit before he could fall too deeply into a rant. “I’m gonna go get ready now.”

“Oh, of course,” Bilbo said. “Thank you!”

At this Fili hung up with a soft “See you later,” and started getting ready. It wouldn’t take him long, though, since he was already dressed in his uniform. He just needed to brush his teeth and hair so he looked at least a little presentable to the customers.

* * *

Fili sighed as the taxi dropped him off in front of the shop. There was already a line out the door and people were already looking impatient. Fili normally worked in the afternoon, which wasn’t nearly so busy, and he could only imagine how frantic Bilbo was dealing with so many people alone.

And he was right. The moment he walked through the back door to slip on his apron, he heard Bilbo apologizing to the customers for the wait over and over again. Fili sighed and checked eat of the pastries to make sure none were on the verge of disaster under Bilbo’s distraction before making his way to the front.

“Fili!” Bilbo said. “Thank goodness you’re here! Hold on, are you not feeling well? Those bags under your eyes don’t look so good. You shouldn’t have come in if you weren’t feeling well.”

“I’m fine,” Fili smiled. “Don’t worry about me. Get back to your baking before you burn everything.”

“Oh dear!” Bilbo jumped on the balls of his feet and rushed to the back, easily distracted by his baking, and Fili turned to the very annoyed looking customer to take the order. It was certainly going to be a long day.

* * *

The line took ages to work through and, by the end of it, Fili’s nerves were practically vibrating. Whenever he didn’t have to use both hands, he checked constantly to make sure his pocket knife was still there, and sometimes just gripped it in his hands for long moments. He had already been on edge this morning with his dreams and the business of the bakery did not help him at all. This was why he had always requested to work the afternoon shift and Bilbo had never once questioned him, nor attempted to change his mind. He had simply worked everyone’s schedules around his request.

When the shop finally calmed down, Fili sighed and his grip on his knife loosened. His head was buzzing and he wanted nothing more than to crawl into some corner to find his silence. He felt suddenly adrift with nothing to focus him and no work to distract him. This was why he needed his brother whose bubbly personality worked as a distraction and whose reckless nature focused Fili for protection. Without Kili, he was left with nothing but his nightmares.

Suddenly, the door burst open and Fili pulled his knife from its place, only barely stopping himself from holding it threateningly up at the customer.

“I want the biggest hot coacoa you have,” said the customer, his long raven hair flying behind him as he rushed to the counter. “With lots of sugar.”

Fili stumbled back as though he had seen a ghost, his knife dropping to the floor as his grip became suddenly loose. “Kili!” he gasped. Perhaps he was more tired than he thought, or his nightmares were affecting him more than he thought, because those wide brown eyes and that dark scruff on his chin made this person look just like his little brother. The brother he thought didn’t even exist in this world. He blinked, swiping at his eyes to try to clear them of the illusion, but the sight before him did not change no matter the attempt.

“That’s my name!” Kili grinned, holding out the exact change needed to pay for his drink.

Fili’s jaw dropped. Kili was here. His Kili was here. And by the looks of it he was a regular. A regular at the shop that Fili worked at. And Fili had missed him all this time.

“Are you okay dude?” Kili asked, tilting his head in that cute way that was so him.

“I-I’m fine!” Fili said. “Let me just go get you that drink.” He needed a moment. Just a moment to collect himself.

“I haven’t even paid yet!” Kili said, still holding out the money.

“It’s on the house!” Fili called back as he slipping into the kitchen.

The moment he was out of Kili’s sight, Fili gasped, bending over to put his hands on his knees. This wasn’t possible. He had finally found Kili, but this had to be a dream. After so long, there was no way that his little brother would just show up in front of him like it was nothing. Like he hadn’t been suffering from the other’s absence this whole time.

“Sit down,” Bilbo said, suddenly by his side and guiding him to the floor until he was leaning over his own knees. “Take deep breaths. In and Out. In and Out. That’s it.” Fili hadn’t even noticed that he was going into a panic attack, but he suddenly realized that it was hard to breathe. His vision swam and there was red in every corner. “In and Out. In and Out. That’s it. You’ve got it. In and Out.” Only Bilbo’s calm voice kept Fili grounded.

“Kili,” Fili keened from his crouched position.

“He’s just outside,” Bilbo said. “He’s waiting for you right? Don’t you want to go see him?”

Fili nodded.

“Then you’ll need to calm down right? In and Out. Just like that. There you go. All better now?”

“Yea,” Fili whispered, though he wasn’t exactly sure if that were true. “Yea. I’m fine now.”

“Good,” Bilbo said, handing Fili two cups. “Here’s Kili’s hot chocolate and your black coffee. I think that the shop is calm enough now that you can take your break.”

Fili nodded taking the drinks. “Do you have any chocolate cake?” he asked. “It’s Kili’s favorite.”

“I believe I do,” Bilbo said, rushing over to his pastries while Fili pulled himself from the ground. He returned with a tray with two slices of chocolate cake. He allowed Fili only enough time to deposit the drinks on the tray before handing it over. “Now go on out there,” he said, holding the kitchen door open for Fili.

Fili nodded, took a deep breath, and walked back out into the shop. For a moment he panicked when Kili was not still at the front counter, fearing that his brother had already left when Fili was not prompt, but then he found Kili in a corner of the shop with several textbooks laid out around him. Fili took another deep breath and approached the other who remained unaware.

The only problem was that Fili had no idea what to say when he finally reached Kili. His brother did not acknowledge him, too focused on his text book, and Fili’s mind was suddenly blank of the carefully crafted words he had always been good at as a dwarf. Thorin had once taught him to never get in a situation where he found himself speechless, yet here he was.

He searched frantically for something, anything, to say when his eyes landed on the problem Kili was currently working on. Kili was sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth as he always did whenever a problem was particularly hard for him and was twirling his pencil around in his fingers in confusion. It was one of the more complicated calculus problems and, as luck would have it, Fili had taken that class before he dropped out of school because his PTSD proved too hard to handle with the stress.

“That one’s hard,” he said without thinking.

Kili startled, dropping his pencil and jolting his head up to look at Fili. One of his hands disappeared at his side and the other gripped the table hard. When he saw who stood above him, though, his grip eased and the other hand returned to pick up his pencil once more. “Yea,” he agreed, nodding his head and looking back at the paper as though nothing had happened. Fili wished he could get over shocks so easily.

“I think I could help you with it,” Fili said, wanting Kili’s attention back on him immediately. “That is, if you want.”

Kili’s big eyes looked up at Fili and the way they gleamed reminded Fili so much of how they were before the war that it made his heart ache. “You could do that?” he asked.

“I took that class recently,” Fili said.

“What school do you go to?” Kili asked. “I go to Erebor University. Balin’s a great teacher, but calculus is so hard. I just don’t get it.”

“Umm,” Fili said, awkwardly still holding the tray in his hands. He had considered going to Erebor University, and was kicking himself now for not doing so, but the mere thought of the name had once sent him into a panic attack so he had eventually decided against it. Instead, he had gone to a lesser known college of little importance that most people didn’t even know existed.

“Is that my hot coacoa?” Kili asked, his eyes landing on the cup.

“Oh yea,” Fili said, remembering suddenly that he hadn’t actually given Kili his drink. He probably should have started with that.

Kili held out his hands eagerly and gulped down almost half the cup the moment Fili had handed it to him. Then he moved over on his bench just enough to give Fili room to sit and pointed at the problem. “I’m stuck on this part,” he said, inviting Fili to sit with a grin.

Fili only waited long enough to pass out the rest of the things on his tray before he sat.

“Cake!” Kili grinned, immediately digging into the sweet.

Fili watched him and a warmth overcame his chest that he had not felt in such a long time. Coacoa was not a common plant when they lived in the mountains and the making of chocolate cake was so rare that they hardly ever had any. The few times they did Kili had been so excited that he had gotten it all over his face. He wasn’t such a messy eater now, but his eagerness to eat it had not waned.

“You aren’t trying to woo me with sweets are you?” Kili asked, though his grin and the twinkle in his eyes showed clearly that he was teasing.

“So about that problem,” Fili said, ignoring the embarrassment and eager to help his brother again.

* * *

It felt like hours of them working through Kili’s different assignments, some Fili could help with some he was entirely lost on, and Fili felt calm for the first time in as long as he could remember. Just as he had thought, Kili was all he needed. He was lulled so deep into calm that refills on his and Kili’s drink had appeared multiple times without his notice and even some sandwiches for them to have for lunch had at some point been set before them. All of which never broke Kili’s constant chatter and the increasing grin on his face. At one point they had even somehow stopped working and Fili was just sitting and listening to Kili talk. It was bliss.

And then that was broken when the ringing of the bell distracted Kili to stand and wave his hands eagerly at the newcomers. “Tauriel!” Kili said to the tall redhead who came through the door with a familiar blonde.

Fili stood abruptly, pulling away from his brother as Bilbo rushed out from the back to take their orders. Kili, Fili knew, had loved Tauriel and had been heartbroken to be separated from her. He would not get in the way of that. Even now that he had his brother once again, he would never ruin Kili’s happiness.

Yet, Kili caught his sleeve, pulling him back beside him as Tauriel looked over at them. She gave a short nod of her head and a small smile before turning back to Legolas who stood on her other side.

“What are you doing?” Fili asked. “Don’t you like her?”

Kili shook his head, his eyes wide and his grip tightening. “I thought I did once,” he said desperately, “but I was wrong. I like someone else. She’s with Legolas now. So, you don’t have to worry about it.”

Fili’s heart dropped to his stomach. So Kili already like someone. It had been bad enough when he thought his brother liked Tauriel, but now it was someone that he didn’t even know. It didn’t sit well with him. He wanted to hunt down that person and make sure that they were right for his brother, but he also wanted to scare them off never to return. It was a strange feeling and it made Fili feel more than a little guilty. He had no right to interfere with Kili’s life. They weren’t even related anymore. They had only just met today, as far as Kili was concerned, and had no other relationship.

No matter how much Fili loved Kili, it meant nothing anymore with them as strangers.

Fili froze. Never before had he actually been able to say that he loved Kili. He’d always known it, ever since they had both grown old enough to feel such things, but never before had he been able to admit it even to himself. At the time it had not helped that they were brothers and that such love would be taboo. But now was even worse because, though they were no longer brothers, Fili was a stranger to Kili and what love he had once had for his brother would just be strange to admit now.

Fili tugged his sleeve from his Kili’s grip, feeling disgusted with himself and more than a little heartbroken. He needed some space before he did something stupid.

“Don’t leave me!” Kili gasped, both his hand shooting out to grip Fili’s elbow.

The sudden jerkiness of the movement normally would have forced Fili to reach for his pocket knife, which he realized suddenly that he never actually picked up, but instead he reached for his brother, holding with just as tight a grip. They stood together like that for a moment before Fili finally regained enough wit to guide the both of them back to their seats.

Kili ducked his head. Releasing the grip of only one of his hands while the other tightened on Fili’s elbow. The hold was slightly painful, his brother’s grip was still strong, but Fili did not complain. The touch grounded him as he had not been since he was a child. In fact, he would have preferred more. He wanted more than anything to reach over and pull his brother into his arms. He wanted to sooth the sudden and obvious worry from Kili’s face by stroking his hair as he had once done on many occasion. There was a particular snarl at the base of Kili’s neck that Fili would have worked free ages ago if he had been allowed the touch.

The first thing Kili pulled out was a pocket knife much like Fili’s own, but he tossed it to the side with little thought. What he pulled out instead made Fili’s jaw drop again.

“What is that?” Fili asked, reaching out to touch the stone in Kili’s hand without thought. It was smooth and of an unfamiliar swirling green color, but the symbols carved on its surface was so familiar to Fili that he felt himself unable to breathe.

“Do you remember?” Kili asked. His wide eyes staring up at Fili; the desperation still deeply set on his face. Suddenly Fili could see the deep bags under Kili’s eyes that matched his own and the knife beside him that he had reached for when Fili surprised him earlier. Could it be…? Was it possible…? Would Mahal actually gift him with such luck? “Amad gave me a stone like this when we left for Erebor,” Kili said so quickly that it was almost nothing more than a babble. “It was the only thing that I was able to remake. I thought I was the only one who was reborn, but then I found Balin at the university and Tauriel’s there too. And then Bilbo was here, and I knew I wasn’t the only one. When I saw you here this morning I was so happy. I just – please tell me you remember me Fili.”

“Kili,” Fili whispered. The tears that he had never let fall when he lost his brother, came to him suddenly, and he couldn’t stop them from making paths down his cheeks. Kili smiled through similar tears and through his arms around Fili’s neck. “Kili,” Fili said again, still barely believing this was possible. “Kili. Kili. Kili.”

“I’ve missed you so much!” Kili cried, burying his head into Fili’s shoulder as the two clung to each other. “I was so afraid that I’d never see you again!”

“I’m here,” Fili said, calming his brother just as he had wanted to. “I’m here. I’m never leaving you again.”

Kili pulled back without a word only to shoot forward again. Fili’s eyes widened as their lips came together in a clash that was more teeth than anything, but then his eyes closed. Mahal forgive him for ever doubting. With Kili in his arms and their lips held together in a kiss, everything finally felt right with the world. Who cared that they didn’t have Erebor. Who cared that they had spent all this time apart? Who cared about all that they had lost with their previous deaths? They were together now and their life would be happy.

“I do believe it’s about time the two of you get a room,” said someone, appearing at their side. Kili pulled away from Fili with a blush, but Fili held him close to protect him from the stranger.

It was not, however, a stranger. It was Sigrid who normally had the morning shift today and who Bilbo had claimed called out sick earlier that morning. “What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Bilbo asked me to switch with you,” she said, her hands on her hips, “and now he asked me to send you home, so you can catch up with each other.”

Kili quickly started thrusting all his books and things in his large backpack with a blush rather prominent on his face. Fili, though, did not move with such speed. This was the first time in forever that he had felt so relaxed. He felt there was no need to rush things anymore.

Sigrid just rolled her eyes, going back to the counter as Kili stood again. Fili took his bag before he was able to pick it up and threw it over his shoulder. Kili tried to protest, but Fili just grinned. It was nice being able to do things for his brother again and it wouldn’t take long before Kili’s protests would stop.

They headed to the door just as Bilbo came out of his kitchen with freshly baked goods to refill the glass case. His eyes caught Fili’s and he gave a knowing smile as Fili laughed.

“Where should we go then Kili?” Fili asked when Kili looked up at him with questioning eyes.

“My place!” Kili said too quickly and the blush that he’d been sporting came back full fledge. “I mean! That way we can catch up about everything we’ve missed.”

“Sure,” Fili said. “Let’s start with how much I love you.”

Kili’s blush was so red now that he looked reminiscent of a tomato and Fili grinned even harder. Oh how he had missed his brother, his beloved Kili. And now they would never have to be apart again.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're curious about where that first scene came from, it was actually in Dean O'Gorman's audition to play Fili (You can find it on youtube). I was very sad when it wasn't in the movie, so I thought I would put it in here. Hope you liked it.


End file.
